Birth Story - Lyds, Dan and Aaron

We booked Jo when I was about 7 months pregnant. We felt we were not being supported by our NHS midwives in our birth choices (probably mainly due to their unrealistic case loads, not necessarily any lack of goodwill), so started to look at our options. We seriously considered free birthing, as our daughter was born with no midwife present, but I wasn’t sure I could cope with the ‘what ifs’ which would inevitably arise from planning to birth that way. So we decided to look into the independent sector.

Jo has been a delight to have in our house from first meeting through to last postnatal visit; I have always looked forward to her coming – as has our 2 year old who knew she could wangle at least two stories out of Jo! The antenatal preparation she provided was comprehensive, and responsive to our needs and desires. She included the whole family to make everybody feel involved in the upcoming exciting event, lending us loads of different resources to browse through at our leisure. She was flexible enough to do things like use her manual BP monitor when we realised her automatic one made my blood pressure go up. She introduced me to ways of keeping my BP down (something which in my first pregnancy and thus far in this one I had been told was not possible) which I utilised to great success.

By the time our due date arrived she was part of the furniture and I was so excited about labour! Four days later it was time to make that first tentative phone call: “Jo? Its me…I think something’s happening!”. Her reassurance and calm flooded down the phone. March 1st was a wonderfully sunny day with clouds racing across the sky, the wind was powerful and blustery, and bitterly cold. We went for a walk to take my mind off the contractions and just let my body do its thing. The whole family was in tow. Dan stayed behind to set up the birthing pool, which we knew would take about 2 hours. We didn’t want to bring Emily back into the house once the pool was up as we thought it might throw her a bit. So after a very British ‘picnic’ in the local park, we parted ways with our little darling toddler…a very emotional moment. She cheerily waved from the back of her Granny’s car, which consoled us no end.

Phone call no.2 to Jo at about 12.30pm: “Things seem to have slowed down a bit” which they had, contracting about once in 15 minutes. We agreed we’d get some rest and enjoy this time together before the momentous challenge ahead. I remember reading in Ina May Gaskin’s books that making love puts a baby in there, and making love gets it out – so with that in mind we embraced the intensity of the moment and had a wonderful couple of hours together! It did the trick, by 3pm the contractions were hotting up again and by 3.30pm we were onto phone call no.3 “I think you should come”.

By the time Jo arrived my mum was with us, our very own and very wonderful doula. I was leaning over a birth ball on the sofa  during each contraction. I felt in control and calm. I felt safe and loved by those around me. I could easily relax in between the contractions, I was even checking emails, it all seemed quite surreal. Dan was easing my back pain with powerful massage strokes. I didn’t want to rush into the pool as I didn’t want to exhaust that option too early. The racing clouds I could see through the window somehow inspired me, I felt so primal and connected. When I voiced my feelings about the pool Jo said she could check for a purple line in between my butt cheeks, which would give an indication of how dilated I was. She was in no doubt – “Jump in!” That alone was so encouraging – I was getting there! I could do it!

Within a few contractions it felt as though things changed gear again and even in the pool I was struggling to relax. The contractions were now very intense and I was at that stage when I felt I would take any pain relief offered me – even though I knew that wasn’t what I wanted to do and fortunately it wasn’t an option. Very soon I was being extremely irritable with everybody, but no sooner had I snapped at one of my poor loved ones I stopped myself with the buoying thought of, “Yay! I must be in transition! COME ON!” Only about 30 mins after getting into the pool I was getting the urge to push, I couldn’t quite believe it. My waters broke with an incredible pop. The next couple of contractions brought the head mostly out. The gap in between those contractions felt like eternity, it was the first time I was wishing the next contraction to hurry up! The feeling of having a baby sitting right in your pelvis is indescribable. Once the head was out I remember holding it in my hands, no one else could see as I was kneeling up in the pool, it was just me and my precious baby communicating through our first touch. I suddenly got worried about the head being out in the water, but as ever Jo was quick to reassure me and quietly told me what to do when I pushed the baby out. With the next contraction our baby was delivered into my hands and I brought him up to the surface to meet us all. By then I think we were all crying and it was only after the initial awe and emotion had ebbed slightly did I think to check what we had – a boy. And so Aaron Paul Cornelius was born at 5.15pm.

The third stage was long and very uncomfortable; I moved out of the pool fairly quickly on to the sofa where a massive duvet was waiting to keep Aaron and me snug. My mum was a star cleaning up and getting tea and toast. An hour or so later once the huge placenta had been delivered, he amazed us all by being 9lb 7oz. Once we were all settled Jo left us getting to know our son.

Jo’s postnatal visits have been a real tonic, more like a good chat with a friend. It was with sadness that we waved her off down the street on her last visit…until next time!