Birth Story - Rachel, Simon and Morgan

On the 8th of June 2008 I gave birth to a magical little boy, in the most magical experience of my life. Birth is an amazing experience every time I'm sure, but for me this was very different. I'd had my first baby, Iestyn, at home in 2004, and, I was very lucky, an easy labour, no complications, a healthy baby and within a few hours I was walking round as normal. There was no celebration or magic in my labour, but I had stood my ground in the fight for a home-birth and I had achieved it, we had a healthy baby so no reason to complain. In fact we were very happy with the birth, especially when we compared it to other friend's birth experiences.

It wasn't until my next pregnancy that my husband, Simon, and I really started to think about how we were treated and what we wanted. We were disappointed to find that our main midwives would be the same ones who had delivered our first baby, less than enthusiastically. On announcing our wish for another homebirth we were greeted with the comment “Well don't call us so early this time we were tired after the last time”. This for me began to sum up how our NHS midwives viewed our homebirth, it was an inconvenience, something they had to do, and somehow selfish of me as it used more resources. The thought of letting these midwives control my birth in my own home became more upsetting than the thought of delivering in the unfamiliar surroundings of a hospital, and so I began to give up on the idea of having a homebirth at all.

I had never imagined that we could afford an independent midwife, but in desperation we made a few tentative searches on the internet. The first contact confirmed our fears, it was seriously out of our price range, so much so that even at half the price it would have been too much, we just couldn't do it. We began to think seriously about coping on our own, but I felt this was too much responsibility to put on my wonderfully supportive husband. It wasn't until a few weeks later, in a spare moment that I considered ringing another of the contacts we had found. I was so sure it would lead nowhere, yet just five minutes later I was jumping with excitement, elated that someone had given me the chance of looking forward to my labour once again. It was affordable, and it sounded right instantly. And so we were able to relax and enjoy my pregnancy.

Through One to One births, we were able to start care in the later stages of my pregnancy allowing us to keep the cost down, but still really get to know our midwives Jo and Katie. Over the latter weeks of my pregnancy we planned carefully the way we wanted the birth to go. They visited us, sat with us, fussed our dogs, chatted like friends and fitted in. They were welcome in our home and we trusted them, something that was of very great importance when I went into labour 11 days early, just as I had with my first son. They came quite quickly as within minutes of my first contraction labour was well and truly underway. By the time they arrived, under an hour later, I was ready to push and my cosy birthing nest was never really kitted out with the cushions and towels I had planned. Down on all fours with my bum in the air was not what I had planned to do either, but this is what instinct told me to do, and Jo and Katie let me follow my instincts throughout. We had discussed what Simon and I wanted from the birth, but not what Jo and Katie would do. I thought that as with the previous labour they would be tied to carry out regular checks at set times, and that regardless of my needs there would be some intrusion. Not at all, they sat patiently in the background, guiding and encouraging in such a beautiful way. They monitored the baby's heart beat from time to time, but I was hardly aware of them doing it, just reassured by the strong powerful rhythm and the knowledge that my baby was doing fine. Simon was at my side throughout and between the three of them I hardly had to ask for a thing. I remember at one point by back was aching badly, but through the pain and gritted teeth I couldn't ask for help. As Simon held me in his arms comforting me I was amazed when Jo began gently stroking and rubbing my back pain away. I hadn't said a word about it.

In my ‘nest', there was just Simon and I for most of the time. We were free to deliver our baby our way. In moments of uncertainty Jo and Katie were there. But unless needed they just watched over me carefully as I remained pushing for all I was worth, still on all fours and choosing to deny gravity it's chance of helping. I knew however, that things weren't quite right. I hadn't felt any progress at all, and although encouraged by the thoughts of my baby's imminent arrival I knew things still had a long way to go. I was starting to feel unsure of my ability to push my baby out, the pain was getting too much and I felt utterly exhausted, and yet I felt any other position was wrong. I tried to move, to squat, or kneel, but the pain would quickly become unbearable. Picking up on my anxiety long before it could have really showed, Jo offered to examine me to check how things were progressing, and, at my request, at a stage that felt right she discovered that my baby was struggling to get past my cervix which had not fully dilated. He was also lying back to back so things were taking longer than expected. Jo offered to move the cervix for me during the next contraction, but warned me it would be painful. It was my choice. I felt safe and trusted her completely, and so agreed. I never felt it move or any pain, just a surge of relief as the baby moved downward at last. From then on things went quickly. My instinct had guided me to labour in a position that put as little pressure on my cervix as possible to allow more time for it to dilate fully, and I am so grateful to Jo and Katy for allowing me the freedom to follow that instinct. With the birth now progressing I chose to kneel upright, leaning on Simon and bearing down hard. I felt my baby's head and waited for assistance, for someone to deliver him to me. But it wasn't like that at all. I hadn't expected to guide my own baby out. There had been no instructions to ‘push now', or ‘don't push, just pant'. No changing my position to enable them to see better. There were no intrusive hands, just mine, guiding this precious little baby into the world. Reassuringly heavy, wet and warm he clung to his mummy and daddy, and we revelled in greeting our baby, just us.

Minutes later, Jo helped deliver the placenta. There was no fuss, no intervention. With the cord still attached my placenta was delivered with ease. We were able to hold Morgan throughout, stay in each other's arms and then marvel at the amazing organ that had supported the life within me for all those months. My mum brought Iestyn to me, and we moved to a new nest in the bed, just the four of us. Jo and Katie stayed within our home for most of the day, just in case they were needed, but within a very short time I was up and about getting a drink and showing my new baby off. I had no tears, no grazes. The relief at my first wee was tremendous - absolutely no discomfort. I felt as though my body had just shot back to 9 months previously.

The magic didn't stop on that first day. The bond between my baby and I was so much stronger than with my first birth (and I had bonded very well with Iestyn). But Morgan was never taken away even for a second. He wasn't cleaned or dried, yet within the hour his beautiful skin looked clean and moisturised naturally. Jo and Katie's care not to wear any perfumed products meant my baby and I could bond with each other's body scent without interference. That warm fuzzy smell will stay with me forever I'm sure, as will the special closeness that was brought about between me and my husband. When in pain my usual response is to withdraw. To be on my own is all I want. However during this labour all I wanted was to cling to Simon. The pain was about as much as I could withstand, and yet with him by my side, I coped, without even considering the option of pain relief. I never imagined anyone could be so in tune to my needs, and the closeness brought about by delivering our baby together has made our relationship even more special.

I feel sure that had my NHS midwives delivered my baby, things would have been very different. I would not have been as relaxed as I was, in their company. They could not have instilled in me the confidence that Jo and Katie did. With frequent examinations they would have discovered the minor complications with my birth much sooner and would almost certainly have transferred me to hospital, creating an atmosphere of fear and tension. If the pain of changing position was too much to bear, then moving to a hospital would almost certainly have caused problems and I have been told that I would probably have ended up with a caesarean birth.

Instead, I walked around in my own home, with my new baby, my own family and two new friends.